So I’ve had 2 OMG’s about the video below. Really? It’s soooo not a big deal or, perhaps, it’s just odd how quickly something becomes so utterly normal that you don’t think about it being otherwise. When I had to go back on the Clexanes yesterday I didn’t want to have to go to the hospital to do it every day, so I just said I’d do it myself. The syringes are sitting here; I’ve seen it dozens of times; it’s not rocket science. So they watched once and then I was good to go. And stop being a baby – they’re seriously, seriously, super-fine needles and I don’t believe anyone who says they hurt… it’s pretty impossible for that to be true. So it’s not a problem. In fact its good to be able to do stuff myself. And I don’t have the every-single-morning-at-the-hospital-with-no-weekends-off any more. Seriously joyous!
Today was a bit interesting: one good thing, one not-so-sure-about thing.
One of my best friends finished a warzone tour and started his journey home today. I think it’s a mixed bag of complete joy to be heading back to his own bed and sadness to be leaving some good friends and, possibly, some of the few who can relate to what he’s seen and done. I’m glad he’s on his way back though. While he was waiting for his transport out, I was having lunch with my dad, stepmum and both brothers which was – again – enlightening…
I’ve eaten out quite a bit over the past couple of weeks – because you’re all fab and know I’ll go nuts if I’m a caged animal – and, while some of the logistics still have to be planned, we haven’t run into a problem. Yesterday, for example, the lovely CG took me to a little bar near our workplace: there was music out front and we sat nearby and shared a platter of yummy stuffs and there were no issues whatsoever. Roll forward to today and the changes were, well, vaguely disturbing to be honest. I’m not entirely sure whether it was having 5 people instead of 2, or the fact the music was louder (and no good!), or that the menu was 15 miles long and all I really wanted was green beans anyway, or that the lack of mobile signal meant I was constantly having to get up to get up and move around to get the transport update from the warzone (and the head’s still a bit weird if it’s not got much support for long). But I got a bit upset about having to choose something from the menu. I think only big bro and my stepmum really noticed though, and it was stalled by the marvellous stepmother who told everyone (nicely) to back off. And I can’t say I was sorry to come home and sleep for very solid 2 hours after. But it kind of wasn’t as fun as it should have been. Which was a bit interesting, and not in a way that I can get too excited about. I’m assuming that this changes soon. Well, I know it will now, because as soon as I blog anything it changes! I guess, perhaps, we’ve done most of the physical bit and now it’s time to push the brain a bit. Mark bought me a puzzle ball thing – see pic below – that everyone who visits becomes obsessed with (yes, Rob, I mean you!). Maybe that’s the shortcut answer to some of this…?!
And finally. I haven’t been sure whether to say this or not, in case it sounds ungrateful, but I think its probably time. A couple of people who are remote have emailed to say it’s nice to be getting to know me better. I’ve been thinking about this and I feel I need to warn you. You aren’t getting to know me, just one slim aspect of my life. And you don’t know quite everything. You didn’t get to know, for example, the day I cried in the loo for 20 minutes because I couldn’t stop my hand bleeding and I knew I’d have to go back into hospital if I couldn’t. That was too much to tell at the time. Or how sad I was for three separate friend’s news and grief when their loved ones died over the past few days. Or how I felt when someone started video-skyping 3 times a day. And perhaps most importantly, you don’t know who matters and who doesn’t, because I feel the need to protect their privacy and, to a great extent, mine too. My name even gets deleted every time anyone accidentally includes it in a comment! So much as I appreciate – really, really appreciate – the huge moral support and the mere fact you can be bothered to read this, if you don’t really know me already, I wouldn’t want you to think this was really me. Like yours, my real life is much more haphazard and boring and interesting and uneventful and complicated and simple than this. This blog really isn’t about the whole me, it’s just the bit about the chick who had the strokes. We both appreciate you very much, but she’s not hanging around forever.