For those of you who kindly wrote about what I should do, I did it yesterday. Note written and sent to the person in charge of the unit, overnight recorded delivery. It didn’t feel good and I’m not glad I’ve done it. But the ‘what if’ concerns won out. Thanks to the medics for the push and to Jayne for proofing the draft. Hopefully, as I said in the note, I’ve asked them to look into it and therefore consider the matter, from my end, closed.
I haven’t to see a medic until Thursday now. (To the best of my knowledge: sometimes letters arrive the same day as an appointment or, even better, after it’s happened.) So I’m wondering what I shall do with my days while I’m mostly indoors. Have you ever noticed how rubbish the daytime TV schedules are? Seriously! There are whole archives of quality stuff and recent programmes, and we’re feeding our stay-at-home mums, our job-seekers, our sick and our plain uninspired with drivel that can’t do anything but shrivel brain cells. With the exception of a sensible blip on BBC2 and – she says looking at today’s schedule – see below – an episode of House – it’s all uninteresting enough to warrant a competition to find the best word for it (answers on a comment button…). They deserve better. Except the last category who, IMHO, require it to be forced upon them. So if anyone, um, you know, happens to know some daytime schedulers/commissioners, heads of television, or the odd DG, please can you ask them if they could possibly have a bit of a rethink about our quite serious moral obligation to these audiences? I believe I’m suggesting that “repeat, repeat, repeat” are, morally, better words than “drivel”.
I’m still finding that if I don’t at least try to sleep in the late afternoon I’m overtired enough that I get dizzy when I try to sleep at night, but I’m thinking it’s time to see what I can really do around that. There’s someone I want to see tomorrow so I’m going on a little outing on the tube (one tube there, one back, venue is less than 3 mins from the station – how hard can that be?!). The person in question decided to meltdown a tad about it at first, which is… well don’t know what it is… but give me a break, hey? I’ve not done this before, and quite probably neither have you, so let me figure it out as I go. I wasn’t stupid before; I’m not stupid now. (I’ve even finally started one of the magazines someone bought me on 12th and wondering how quickly I can find a copy of The Week or The Spectator or a Saturday Guardian.
It does feel like things are kind of plateauing now. Maybe that’s to be expected but, as you probably know, I’m not used to not being able to dictate what happens next! To all those who are saying, “get over it and be patient”, um, no, and obviously I’ll find a way around this!
The GP yesterday asked, “So are you always cup half full?”. Apparently it’s one of those common things to get depressed after a stroke. Which explains why everyone asks me how I “feel emotionally about” everything about every 5 minutes. Well, you know I have my moments when there is too much going on around me but, most of the time, I just feel like I won the lottery. Three hits and they pretty much missed everything. So if there is the odd headache (and they are infrequent now), or the time limits on an unsupported head, or everything takes a little longer for a bit longer, well… I’ve seen how it could have been and, trust me, I completely, totally and utterly lucked out. And, frankly, it’d be an insult to both me, and to those who didn’t, to suggest otherwise.
I’m now officially signed off work for a while. I need to pass the note to CG before I tell you what it says. But MM tells me this now means I’m not insured to step onto work property for anything more than a social hello. (Talk about adding insult to brain injury!) Everyone assumed I was already signed off because I’d been inside but, actually, they don’t give you anything but a copy of your discharge letter in case their copy doesn’t hit your GPs surgery (and mine didn’t so I gave it to them, so I don’t even have a copy of that any more). Anyway I asked the GP for a sign-off note so I have something for work before they have to ask. Though I hear horror stories about what happens when one hands things like this over to HR departments, so maybe they can chuck it in a drawer instead, once they’ve seen for themselves what it actually says??! Anyway, I must remember to ask whoever rocks up first to pass it on for me (and yes, that’s a hint to remind me!).