Publish and be damned!

Well I knew this day would come too, I guess. There’s a lot I could tell you about yesterday, and how it feels to be on a weekend and this particular Saturday, but I don’t really want to write it up.  So – with the advice of ‘Publish and be damned,’ (from someone who has no idea what it says!), here’s something I held back because it turned into a bit of a rant as I typed it.

(Hey, look at me running a standby piece in place of live output, on today of all days!)

Have a nice weekend. x

And Happy Birthday Andy(B).

I’m starting to get a bit worried about work. I thought about not blogging this because I know some of you who are reading it, but, well it’s the part of the picture I’m not mentioning.  So no talking about this among yourselves, and no comments please.  I’m not that worried, I’m just saying…

There are things going on now that I’d usually be involved in, or leading.  I utterly trust the superhero who is doing them instead, and I’m glad everyone gets to see how completely brilliant she is, and the rest of our team.  But I don’t like the interesting stuff happening while I’m not there.  It’s weird.  I’m out of the loop and I really don’t like it.  I mean seriously… couldn’t the whole world, and absolutely everyone in it, have gone on hold until I got back?!!

I suppose I just need to look at it as motivation.  But trying to balance the ‘I really can’t think about what’s actually going on at work at the moment,” with “I’m out of the loop and this isn’t good for my career,” is one of those dichotomies that I should be getting used to by now.

And there are a  few things that I’ve been avoiding blogging.  And I know I may upset a couple of people by spilling on one of them. But I’m going to say it, partly because I want to, and partly because strangers are hitting this for reasons that have nothing to do with me and I’d like them to know not to do this to someone else.  So:

I get so pissed off with the people who come out with the now boring line, “I’m not telling you anything at all, you’re sick/off/whatever”.  I might smile and tease you after you’ve said it, but I’m completely and utterly faking it to be polite.  After all, you’re probably in my house drinking my tea, so saying something, or helping you to accidentally spill your drink in your lap, isn’t all that helpful.  This actually applies to work and home stuff alike.

I do understand that you’re trying to play a role which you either aren’t sure about or is intended to look like you’re looking out for me. But, frankly, from my side of the room, it comes across as smarmy power play.  Seriously.  Sorry, but it’s true.  Particularly if you grin while you say it.  It’s not attractive, its not big and its not clever (oh god, I’m on a roll now… sorry!).  If you think about it, this is actually my life.  You’re part of the much-appreciated line out of my temporarily small world and back into the real one I’m heading back to.  And you’re pulling that? Thank God, most people don’t do this now, and the real stars among you never did, not really, you took your cues from me, and worked accordingly. But I actually don’t care if those of you who’ve done it in the past week or so are offended, because I’ve already told you.  It’s just I put on a smile while I did it, so I’m not entirely sure you got the underlying message.  Anyway, you may think it’s a good line, but it’s not a kind one.  I’m off right now, but don’t treat me like I’m brain-dead. Not least because I’m coming back.  And one doesn’t really want to have to think of the immortal words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (!) that start with, “Ooops.

Sorry, rant over.  And you know, once I’ve said it to the person involved, I don’t think I’ve ever held a grudge.  It’s actually one of the nice things about me; I’ve honestly always known that, in that respect, grudges are dumb.

p.s.  Yes, I do have a couple of other standbys held in reserve for future strike/work-to-rule days. What, you didn’t think I had contingency plans in place to allow for days like this… or token gestures?  x

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