If you blinked then you may have missed it, but at the Stroke Clinic, whilst working out why the left side of my lips were still numb, Dr D called up the MRI scans of my brain on his computer again. He decided that a shady spot in my brain stem must actually be another infarction. Presumably a small one. I don’t know why they hadn’t thought about this before, because they knew my face (then) was numb but, you know, whatever… it wasn’t really important: heparin was the answer to everything anyway. I didn’t need to know then; I’m not quite sure I need to know now, though it makes some things make a little more sense.
The thing that I’ve been thinking about is this. My lips went numb right at the beginning, while I was on the floor at work. So that must have been the first hit. The brain stem must have taken the first hit. And presumably, though it had the second biggest impact (the big one being in the middle of the following night), actually, it must have been the smallest hit. Thankfully. Because a big hit to the brain stem would have been quite bad news. To the point that I don’t know what I think about that. I don’t think I particularly want to. Think about it that is. The rest hit my cerebellum. If you are going to do this, then the brain stem is the place to avoid and the cerebellum is your best bet for survival, minimum impact and full recovery.
I went to the cinema today. I was going to see The Social Network with Jez but the logistics didn’t work. (For my fellow West Wing devotees, it’s written by the very brilliant Aaron Sorkin, and you’ll be able to tell it’s his work.) Instead I went this morning, on my own, so I wouldn’t feel bad for whoever was with me if I couldn’t do it and needed to leave before it finished. Though walking up steep stairs, without a rail, in semi-darkness to my seat made me wonder whether I would actually be able to leave in the middle… but it was ok. The ads were not helpful. They were loud and busy: I’d chosen the movie specifically because it wasn’t going to be like that! But it was ok, and once the movie started it was fine. I don’t think I could have done it 2 or 3 weeks ago, and that’s proof of how progress happens. You kind of stop noticing it until it means something else is back in place. I don’t think I’ll be doing any loud, busy movies in the next few weeks – which is a shame because the new Harry Potter is out and I think I’d like to see it. Coming out of the film was interesting. I texted a friend, “Movie was good. Bit long. You know I walked down steps without a handrail thinking I’m a lucky chick. I can do that. Isn’t it weird what we take for granted?”