Since the very beginning I’ve been clear that this blog is my story, and many things outside that – however relevant – aren’t just my story to tell and therefore don’t make these pages.
I’ve made many a judgement call about not mentioning something. I’ve very occasionally disguised details in order to be able to explain an issue, or simply told it without any identifying specifics. It’s not that I don’t want to share, it’s just respect for others and, I suppose, making sure that sharing my opinion on something isn’t going to get me into trouble either.
My cousin came to stay with me this weekend to join an annual event in our area that’s organised by her brother, who’s obviously also my cousin. (With me so far?!) She’s fab and she’s been following this blog since the beginning. Her brother is a great friend too and I have a story to tell about him in a moment, but she’s been an amazing and – if she’ll allow me to say this in the right way – a surprising source of uncomplicated and uncompromising moral support. Surprising only in the sense that, actually, we really don’t see each other that much in the grand scheme of things. Maybe its genetics? It’s always fun to see her too so I was glad she was coming to stay.
She was a bit surprised though. Having followed the blog she was expecting ‘normal’ me. Instead she got a me that she felt she needed to watch out for again, just a little bit, which she hadn’t expected given all the good news on the blog. And no, before you ask, I didn’t have more than one drink! But it is true that a couple of the less noticeable adaptive behaviours that I thought we were past made a (hopefully) brief reappearance this weekend.
I believe there is a very specific reason for this blip, and it’s not because of normal everyday stuff. I can’t share everything as I’ve explained above. I’m also wary of blogging anything that results in people contacting me with advice how I should manage things because that can be tricky to respond to. But her observations were a reminder that I must take the advice of those those who suggest I must still view some things with the lens of ‘how does this impact my recovery?‘
The fortunate thing is I have amazing friends and colleagues and an amazing GP who – as well as overlooking the fact I’ve now cried on her twice in the past few months – reminds me kindly but without compromise that my recovery is more important right now than most things.
Does any of that make any sense? Probably not! My blog is cathartic so I’m blogging instead, and hoping I haven’t said anything that anyone will hold against me. That feels like a little bit of a risk sometimes, which is sad.
Oh and the story about the cousin that lives near me? I’ve added it to the Backstories.
So this post is for my cousins, who are pretty blooming fantastic. Again, they reminds me that what really counts are the friends and family that are always there.
Thanks again. xx