Tag Archive for blog

The one where I move… and maybe write a book

moving house

I’m moving.

Out of the city.

Creating a new life.

It’s time.

If you’d told me when this all began that it would end up with me leaving my life in the city to find a new area, a new home, new job, new friends, and so on, I’d have told you to get stuffed. Mostly because I wouldn’t have wanted to believe that could be the outcome, rather than because it wasn’t true.

But it’s not just the stroke that’s got me to this point.

If you haven’t worked it out already, I live in London. I haven’t named locations much before for various reasons, and I probably won’t blog on where I’m going either. It’s a security thing. London is an unusual place. There are big, huge jobs here, and very expensive housing. It’s brilliant, and there’s also lots of free things to do. But it’s not sustainable for me in the long term.

Even before the stroke, I had a plan to move out of the city “at some point”. At that time I thought I’d commute into town for work for many years before finally bowing out of city life completely. But it hasn’t turned out like that.

As you know, I left my job last April. Exactly three months after I returned to work (part-time at first) exactly three months after my stroke. I’ve never gone into the whys and wherefores, but it’s what happened, and I’ve been finishing an MSc and doing a bit of freelance work since. But the house I rent is being sold and it’s time for me to create some lifelong stability for myself.  So I want to buy a house.

In London houses are expensive. Even with the brilliant salary I had before I was only ever going to be able to buy a cupboard in a location I liked or a small flat in a place I didn’t. To buy a two or three bed house with a little garden means making a big move. And I need that security. And I need a full time job to pay for it because that’s how one gets a mortgage. While my brain works again as it did before in thinking and doing capacity, I do find a need more control over my hours and pattern of work than before the stroke. That doesn’t mean I don’t work as hard nor that I work any less hours, just that I need to be able to have a little control over them. For example, if I have two full days of meetings and/or presenting/coaching/training big groups then I need the third day to be a very quiet one. I can still work but I’m not going to be able to repeat the previous two days that day.

Now, if you’re about to say, “Well I’ve never been able to do that, so now you’re just normal like everyone else,” – please don’t. I might shoot you. I’m so sick of people saying that. I might have always been your normal but it’s never been mine. And it’s my normal that I measure everything against, not yours. Sorry if that sounds harsh but after the 100th person has said it you just stop explaining….

So. The idea is to move out of London. Rent a place while I find a job. Get a job that’s a bit more provincial (and therefore hopefully a little more controllable than the 24/7 on call job of before). Buy a little house. Live. I know, it won’t be that easy, but I’ve worked out that even if I lost a big chunk of my old salary, the combination of my London-sized deposit and drastically cheaper house prices means it’s do-able.

I move on 30 June. For the following few weeks I’m going to take a holiday at the very beautiful and mercifully empty flat of an amazing friend in a seaside town. And then make the move to the final destination.

Oh, and I was thinking, should I turn this blog into a book in the few weeks that I’m there? I don’t know. I can download all the content easily enough…

There are two significant stories that are missing from this blog. The first is about a boy, and the second is the real whys and wherefores about why I left my job and what a cock-up one, or perhaps two, individuals who called themselves HR professionals made (needless to say this wasn’t my boss nor my boss’s boss, who were both 100% fantastic). Never before has it been so satisfying to be able to answer the statement, “Well, you obviously aren’t clear on the HR law around this,” with “Actually, my degree is in HR and I worked in this very department for some time before you arrived,” been so bloody satisfying.

Like I said, there was a lot I didn’t feel I could blog about!  In some cases it was things weren’t my prerogative to share (Liz Jones anyone?).  With regard to leaving work, I didn’t want to taint the innocent, and I wanted to retain my ability to rise above it all and preserve my relationship with an organisation – and many people – that I love. But, in hindsight, the work stuff was actually pretty outrageous and, besides, I might have a way to keep it relatively anonymous… maybe.

Anyway, I think I’ve decided I’m going to write it. Mainly because I’ve been asked to, and the boy surprised me a great deal by saying he thought that I should.

Whether I do anything with it afterward, well that we shall have to wait and see!

Wish me luck with the move!

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The One Year Check Up

Sorry it’s taken a few days for me to get around to this update.   You know how life gets busy…

Here’s the answers to my questions, in no particular order, and what happens next.

(1) Aspirin.  The 75mg a day of baby aspirin has to continue for two reasons.  First, the clot is still there in my vertebral artery (in the back of my neck).  The aspirin prevents it doing any more damage. Second, there is the minuscule chance that there is some kind of congenital weakness there – he made it sound more like winning the euromillions type odds than getting struck by boring old lightening, though the figure of 5% chances of reoccurrence on a tear has been bandied around the VAD group  recently.  In any case a baby aspirin would prevent this doing much harm so it would make sense to continue that even if the clot ever clears itself.

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5 percent?

Lots to say after yesterday, but I’ll write it up and post it before the weekend.

In the meantime, this appeared on the Young Stroke Survivors facebook page this morning:

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Moving On…

Tomorrow I’m seeing the neuro at the stroke clinic at Hospital Number 2.  You’ll remember he stole me back from Hospital Number 3, in possibly ego-related act for which I was grateful.  I haven’t seen him, or any other stroke related doctors, in six months.

I suspect that he’ll probably discharge me permanently tomorrow.  There’s a possibility he’ll want another MRI or CT I suppose, but my instinct says he’ll let me go after tomorrow.  Unless there are persistent issues, there’s often nothing new to tell after a year.  And it’s been just over a year now.  It feels like a very long time ago… and what an interesting year it has been on many fronts.

It’s got me thinking about questions I want to ask him, as well as things that have changed in the past year.  Let’s take each in turn.

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World Stroke Day

I do dates. You may have noticed.

I remember it’s a week since, or a month since, or a year since. And not just about the stroke, but about EVERYTHING. I’m sure it’s very annoying for people who don’t. But I do. You probably noticed.

On October 29th it’s World Stroke Day.

Maybe you could mark this one too?

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364 days ago…

This time last year I’d just gotten back from an Island where I’d been househunting.

I’d narrowed it down to a choice between a little cottage with no parking or a flat with no garden. I had decided on the house right up until the end of the day when I realised the ‘lock-up-and-leave-ability’ of the flat made it more suitable.

Tomorrow last year, which was a Monday, all this started. Not really sure how I feel about that.  Almost everything has changed since that time; job, relationship, everything.

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www.hospitalessentials.com

As some of you know, since my first day blogging from the hospital I’ve had a thing about ‘hospital kit’ lists.

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Resources page (look up!)

Right.  Ages ago I said to the Facebook Young Stroke Survivors Group that I’d put up a resources page collating a lot of what’s been said about what was useful.  I also asked them for things that they found useful.  They’re on the new resources page – look up, see the tab?

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Stents, English and Facebook

No posts for ages and then suddenly three things to say.  This post has three points: stents may be bad, English speaking nurses are required and facebook support is priceless.

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Anniversaries of life and death

Humans spot patterns even when there are none.  It’s part of what we do to make sense of our world.  It helps us to feel order.

A few years ago, it seemed like every time I went on annual leave I’d come back to find another member of our team had taken a new job.  Now it’s measured in time since the stroke.

Exactly three months (to the very day) later, I went back to work; exactly six months (to the very day) later, I left said job permanently; and today, exactly nine months on, my boss left my old work too, and a dear person in my circle of friends has died, many decades too soon for my friends to bear.

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