Tag Archive for new year

a very modern anno

Tomorrow is my birthday.  It’s a whole new year.  And, perhaps, a whole new beginning.  We shall see what it brings.

One thing I have learned is that you can fight life, but it always wins in the end.  And so long as you look for the positives, you’ll usually find them, in the end.  

Nobody promised us an easy ride, or a lack of bumps, or that we would be on cloud nine every second of every day.  So we shouldn’t expect that.  Our responsibility, I might suggest, is to do the right thing for us and for as many of the people we love as possible (even if we dislike them or don’t understand them at the time) and then find the positives in the situation.  There are always positives; sometimes we just have to look a little harder or wait a little longer to find them.

My everyday friends/family have known about the dissection, the stroke and the blog since it happened. Colleagues and contacts who are on the fringes of the everyday know because they were there or they were told, though they may not know about the blog. But I’ve not ‘gone public’ in the sense that I’ve never sought to tell those who are not in my everyday.  It just didn’t seem necessary.

BBC One's 'Mistresses'

When she was here, my friend Claudia bought me a boxset of the BBC drama “Mistresses“, which I’d never seen. I finished it this morning.  In the final episode, one of the leads explains why she hadn’t told some of the others that she’d been ill.  She said something like this: “Every time I tell someone else, it’s like telling myself again“.  And that resonates.  Something happened, and we did that and then we move on.  Do we really have to keep acknowledging it over and over and over?  As it turns out, it’s not quite as over as one would have hoped, but we are almost there and, because I now understand why I didn’t tell, and because I see tomorrow as the start of a whole new year, I thought I would.  So I did… in the most modern and uncouth way:

So if you clicked that link and you are now trying to figure out what on earth you missed, well, it wasn’t that dramatic.  Honest. 😉

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New Year’s Eve

hope

I have blogged a few times about my great fondness for the word ‘hope’.  So much so that it appears in my house a little (see right).

365 days or 525,600 minutes, that’s what it takes to get through a year.  And what an interesting and lovely year 2010 has been.

New Year may mean many things.  But in my experience it reminds us that either we’re not quite in the position we would’ve preferred and can’t see how that might change, or we believe that 2011 might be terribly exciting.  In my mind, New Years Eve is usually all about sadness or hope, even if we never admit that to another living soul.

I won’t tell what was happening in my world on this date last year, but let’s say I remember 30 December 2009 very well and was holding back a lot of tears 365 mornings ago (31st).  Something had raised it’s head, again, quite unexpectedly on the previous day.   So while I probably pretended to believe in hope for 2010, actually, I was also sad. Something I wanted very much was patently never going to happen, and I had to learn to finally, and again, let it go, forever.  And, this year, which doesn’t seem that long later, I enter a new year full of hope and excitement about what may come to pass.  There are some people who have become significantly more important than anyone before; there are new people that I didn’t know then; and there are my forever friends, who remain in my world wherever we may be.

Despite what I felt on New Years Eve 2009, 2010 was actually rather lovely and very kind to me, and I know 2011 is going to be my favourite year ever. In part, that is not in spite of the dissection and the resulting stroke, but because of it.  I guess God really does work in mysterious ways.

So if it happens that you’re secretly not enjoying the beginning of a new year, then please take a tiny piece of comfort from someone who knows that anything might happen for you next year.  Absolutely anything.  And chances are – I really believe this for you, even if you don’t – it will.  So have a little hope today. Or let me have it for you. It’s a whole new year tomorrow, and I can’t wait to see what happens!

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Tron at the IMAX

This will be tagged as 31 December, but at 0023, it still feels like Thursday night.

Tonight we went to the IMAX at Waterloo to see Tron, which is in 3D.

It’s the biggest screen in the UK.  It’s worth going to see almost anything there in 3D.  I love the IMAX.  Even more than the London Eye.  And while there was very little plotline, the effects were brilliant.  True surround sound (Em, I saw you look around when it sounded like someone was knocking on the door behind us!) and graphics that pop out (Rich jumped at the red thing flying at us). But, in the context of this blog, I also that just over remember two months ago, sitting in a restaurant trying to choose something from a menu was overwhelming enough to make me want to cry, and yet here we are, IMAXing like nothing happened.

I even caught the reference to WarGames: “the only way to win the game is not to play at all” (Joshua, the computer, it’s what he figures out a the end playing tic tac toe…?  No, well I guess you have to be a fan to remember these things!). Apparently there are loads more references to other 80’s films.  If anyone can find a link to a really good list, please do post it here.

Tonight – though it feels like tomorrow – will be New Years Eve.  I shall be bidding a fond farewell to 2010 which, including everything, has been terribly kind to me, and very much looking forward to new adventures in 2011.

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Essay in progress

If I was up to date with my MSc cohort’s position on the course, I’d just have one final essay to do, a dissertation proposal and an dissertation.  Instead I’ve those plus 2 more essays that I missed from last term.  I’ve been told I can take what I need to finish them but I’m hoping that all will be done by the time the next round of essays are supposed to be in.  So only the two outstanding ones will be late.

Essay 1 (from last term), a dull-as-ditchwater-don’t-know-why-we’re-bothering-and-said-so-on-my-feedback-form essay, is underway.  It’s 2500 words but it’s also only part of a 4-part module, so I can afford to get 50% (a pass mark) without damaging the overall mark in any way.  So that’s what I shall aim for: enough to pass.  Then on to the more interesting one for last term, before I get to the really good stuff.

love this: stolen from staff.esuhsd.org

Anyway, it’s started.  I’ve adopted a whole new approach to speed things up, out of necessity.  In the past I’d research and print papers for a week or so, then read for a couple of weeks, then write for two or three more.  This particular essay I’m aiming to finish by this Saturday lunchtime so the research consists of pulling stuff up, copying and pasting and referencing, and once I have enough there I will write around it and over it and generally turn it into an essay.  Talk about academic basic-ness!  The thing is… I’m not entirely sure it won’t get exactly the same mark as if I’d spent more time on it… we shall see.

This week is going to be busy: the essay takes priority between now and New Years Eve, but I’m going to see Tron at an IMAX with my cousin tomorrow night.  I so love the IMAX and, when I think that 6 weeks ago there would have been no way I’d have been able to cope with the 3d and surround sound I am reminded just what a journey seems to have slipped by unnoticed.  I am so glad I kept the blog, else I think much of what I have written would have been lost to me forever going forward, with all the lessons lost.  Instead I shall have to archive at some point, so I have a copy of it in years to come.

love this too: stolen from the teatimeenglish blogspot

Anyway, Tron tomorrow, then New Years Eve and day will be spent just out of town; Sunday I shall be nipping to the coast on a train to see a friend for lunch; Tuesday is an INR check; Wednesday is a stroke clinic at Hospital Number 2 (part of the Cadiss trial thing) and then I’m flying back to NI that afternoon for a very lovely, chilled, relaxing week.  Then I’ll return on Sunday and then go to work on Tuesday…

Talk about a schedule..!

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